I’m always a little conflicted on Veterans Day.
I’m proud of my time in the military and it is certainly a part of who I am, but that’s all it is, a part. I think this is probably still the way the majority of vets feel, but lately, there seem to be more and more people, both within the veteran community and American society as a whole, that want to isolate and extract the “veteran” portion of the identity and treat that as if it is the only aspect that matters.
This is concerning because it simultaneously leads down two paths: The Hero and The Victim.
The Hero is what we become when the military is treated like it is somehow above the rest of society, instead of a part of it. This is what happens when healthy respect and acknowledgement goes haywire. This happens when a soldier is told that he deserves to board airplanes ahead of an expectant mother with three kids. The Hero mentality is what causes a veteran to proudly request a military discount when she goes out to dinner, “because of my sacrifice,” instead of humbly accepting it when it is offered.
The Victim, in contrast, is what veterans become when society looks at us as automatically broken by our experiences. Any time a veteran struggles with PTSD and society quietly applies that diagnosis to every other veteran, we become The Victim. When civilians make misinformed comments about how horrible the pay and benefits are in the military and we don’t correct them, we are also playing the role of The Victim. This is just as damaging of a label because it sets us apart from society as somehow flawed and “used up” by our military service.
The most concerning part about this is that we seem to actually be taking both paths. We heap shallow praise on military members and give out free appetizers on Veterans Day, but we don’t demand resolution for those issues that sincerely impact veterans most in need, while rejecting that those damaged labels apply to the majority of us. This appears to be leading to an entitlement mentality within the military while simultaneously allowing society to ignoring the most critical issues. For example, we are still combating issues such as veteran homelessness, unemployment, and suicide. The Department of Veterans Affairs is still struggling with a massive backlog, byzantine bureaucracy, and a failure to modernize. This is really where society’s focus should be.
This is also where we veterans have an obligation. Collectively, we should reject both The Hero and The Victim. Let us be clear about which issues are important and which are not. A free Blooming Onion, while certainly appreciated, is not going to impact the arc of my life in any meaningful way. However, the timely processing of a disability claim could literally change the course of an injured veteran’s life. One more open phone at a suicide hotline could, literally, be a matter of life and death for a depressed vet.
Veterans day is over, but I ask all my fellow vets to assure that we keep the focus on what matters. Don’t buy into either The Hero or The Victim mentality.
Skylar Gerrond is a former USAF Security Forces captain who was stationed in Wyoming, Germany, and Texas along with deployments to Iraq in 2003 and 2006/7. During his 7 years of active duty, he worked nuclear and physical security, law enforcement, and technology development/rapid fielding. Since separating from the Air Force in 2007 he has worked test and evaluation and program management for the Navy supporting a variety of DoD and U.S. government entities. His opinions are his own and do not represent those of any other organization.
Krogher 
chris dallas-feeney 
JoePilot 
MarcoG 
JenK 
Scott Kinner 
MitchB 
Kirk Towner 
Dean Hewitt 
I agree. I don’t want to be cynical, but I think that the proliferation of Veterans Day specials is due to the lack of connection the wider community has with veterans. I don’t doubt the authenticity of the community nor do I question the sincerity of most of those who send us their gratitude. However, this didn’t happen with the WWII generation nor the Korea generation. Why? Because then every male, or darn close to every male, had served. It was as civic as voting (which, by the most recent turn-out, may not be a good example). We are becoming a caste apart from the community. They love us. They gush praise and gifts upon us. But they aren’t us, nor do they want to be us. Most don’t want their children to be us.
It would be interesting to see how many of us who have served come from military families. I know I did. My hypothesis is that the majority of us come from a “military family” which only exacerbates the problem.
We aren’t special. We aren’t victims. We aren’t heroes. We are people who do a dangerous job. Some do it for pride and love of country. Others because there were no other options. Some, like me, because of both civic duty and family history, but also because, you know, Student Loan Repayment was sexy.
Well said. I am not a veteran but I serve them as an educator and researcher. I find many of our society’s attempts to pay respect to the active duty/veteran forces lacking substance, more ceremony and sell-reflecting than likely is intended (but nonetheless it is). Thank you for the contribution. I will share your perspective liberally.
Agree. I’d like to see a return to Service to Nation as a civic duty, whether military, or peace corps, or civilian conservation corps. A year or 18 months of civic duty immediately following high school would go a long way toward educating the voting public and “growing up” our youth who might not otherwise ever leave their home town or inner city.
I can relate to this. I am not a fan of the current slide to institutionalized hero worship. In many cases, those who have done the most are usually the most silent (recent case of the two showboating former SEALS aside). When major sporting events make a big deal and honor some USAF E-nothing who did three (cough cough) “arduous” months in Djibouti or Lodjes – it diminishes the real sacrifices. When some guy who was in the Army for two years 10 years ago, gets a free t-shirt or an active duty Navy Chief (far from living in the poverty zone) saves $2.36 off their order at Chic Fil A, or God help us gets a free appetizer and the donating organization feels it has some real good work helping out a Vet. But where is the homeless vet’s SWAG bag? How many WWII vets sat around and salivated at getting a free Krispy Kreme doughnut and small coffee once a year? I am not saying you shouldn’t ask for the discount at Home Depot, but when they don’t offer it and you pout and wine or threaten to boycott you are falling into that trap of having some undeserved sense of entitlement. I would rather see all these “good deals” be exchanged for serious donations to organizations like the USO, TAPS, DAV, and others. I also find it ironic that the free concert in DC this year for Veterans Day was in part paid for by Howard Schultz. The same guy that owns Starbucks. How many people were at that concert and had been caught up in the fervor of threatening to boycott Starbucks because they were not sending free coffee to troops in Iraq? (Which was false) In my opinion this is all part of this same epidemic and is a problem.
Why did you feel the need to rank/file someone based on their branch and tours as an example of how you dislike the way Veterans Day is being observed? The way we, Veterans, feel the need to compare ourselves based on tours, how hard/long a tour was, career field, etc only shows our fracturing and inability to care for one another. One’s tour/career is their tour/career not yours and not yours to judge. No one should judge ones sacrifice, on or off the field.
There is a reason that terms exist such as…
SERVICEmember
military SERVICE
“Were you in the SERVICE”
Subordinating oneself to serve does not enable slavery or abuse, but neither does it enable entitlement.
Mr. Krogher hits the nail on the head in his comments. Modern veterans of the all-volunteer force may be broadly divided between motivations of family tradition, civic service, and benefit/educational need, or any combination of these three.
The fact that only a small portion of modern America, perhaps 1-2%, has served or knows someone firsthand who has served, makes it that much more difficult for veterans to be treated as a part of society, rather than apart from it.
Ultimately what we want more than adulation or recognition is simply to be understood and accepted by the nation we’ve served.
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to comment. I’m glad that this post (which started life as a Facebook status update) has resonated with so many people.
Plenty of Service Organizations out there that have had the Veterans back since wars were waged. Join the American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars, Fleet Reserve association or many others that represent Veteran issues on Capitol Hill. They need us young Veterans to step up to continue the fight!
Kirk Towner, CPO USN (Ret)
Thank you for your insight. I certainly struggle with it. But, don’t you feel they are trying to buy us sometimes. As a Vietnam Vet, I’ll take the patriot label and leave it as that. I’ll take the help from the VA, the support of my relatives, friends and peers, and in my mind I feel the satisfaction I know each of us vets have for what we did. I think we certainly gave more for the right reasons.